Longer Nights, Shorter Days

Today seemed to fly by more swiftly than Friday. Mom was up and down a dozen times during the night, rummaging through her dresser drawers, trying to pull off pajamas, going through clothes in the closet and trying to put them on over her pajamas, and using the potty chair.

She finally settled down about 3:00 AM and slept. Since she was up and down most of the night, I let her sleep until 11:00. She still seemed exhausted after eight hours sleep and ate very little breakfast.

The occupational therapist called at 11:45 and said she had one more visit with Mom and wanted to know if she could come by then. She was here by noon. She worked with Mom on arm exercises for about 45 minutes. Amy was very sweet. She left her cell phone number and told me to call anytime if I had any questions or when Mom’s situation changes and she needed more care. She’s a very sweet and caring person. All of Mom’s therapists and nurses have been wonderful. This was the last visit today. Mom’s been discharged from home care because she’s reached her full capability.

After Amy left, Mom and I sat in the living room and I read her the recent letter from her friend. I put Mom’s writing tablet and pen on the snack table in front of her so she could write a letter back. For the past several months, I’ve had to give Mom ideas as to what to write. She’s not been able to think or concentrate enough to figure out what to say in a letter. I’ll jot down a few notes on a piece of paper, tell her to write about those things, and I’ll come back in the room a few minutes later. She’s asked me to read the letter over to make sure it sounds okay, and I told her it’s fine. It took her two weeks to finally finish a letter to her friend the last time.

I called her friend to let her know that Mom has Alzheimer’s because I’m sure by now she’s realized that Mom’s letters are not the same as they used to be. She used to write long flowing letters about everything she did for the week and apologize for the length of the letter. Now, her letters are a half page to one page long, with repeated sentences, and apologies for her messy writing.

She said that she thought that might be what was wrong because Mom had written the same sentence over and over in several letters. She felt bad that Mom has Alzheimer's but she said she gathered that when Mom asked when her birthday was. Mom and her share the same birthday and began writing to each other more than 30 years ago through an ad in Workbasket magazine about birthday pen pals. She said she would continue to write, wished me and mom the best, and thanked me for the call.

Mom’s mind is deteriorating more and more. The few things she loved to do, reading books and writing to her friend, have become burdensome to her. She no longer reads, and she’s struggling to write.

Alzheimer’s robs her of a bit more each day. It steals her memory, her abilities, and it’s slowly stealing her pride in the lucid moments she has when she realizes she’s not able to do what she used to do.

When she finished her short letter today, she said, “I’m going to quit writing letters. I don’t know what to write anymore.”

She was mentally exhausted after two hours of trying to write 15 sentences. She finally finished her letter by saying, “Hope you have a real nice summer.”

Yes, I needed to call her friend before mailing this letter. I’m not sure how much more Mom will be writing, but at least her friend will know that Mom cares and is doing her best. I so much appreciate her continuing to write to Mom.

Mom wanted to go to bed at 3:00. She ate very little dinner today. I kept her talking and coloring until 4:00 when she began to doze off during our conversation. She was in bed and asleep by 4:45. The days are getting shorter. :(

Alzheimer’s Disease Progressing—Mom in Hospital and Home Again

I know I haven’t been here for a while. Things have been hectic to say the least.

A few weeks ago Mom was able to get up out of bed and dress by herself with very little help. One morning she woke and seemed very different to me. She didn’t know what her clothes were and couldn’t figure out how to put them on when I placed them on her bed. She had no clue what to do.

Her smile was still full, she was still able to stand and walk, she had use of both arms and hands; she just seemed weak and confused. It was like she came off her plateau and dropped down suddenly.

The rest of the week she still needed help dressing, and still seemed more confused than she had been.

So here we are in another stage of this horrible disease called Alzheimer’s.

She was complaining of being dizzy when she stood up. At Adult Day Care they said she also complained of being dizzy, but also when she was sitting. Each time she complained of being dizzy, her blood pressure and blood glucose were checked and they were normal. The Day Care attendants checked them too and said the same thing.

I called her doctor, explained the situation and he told me to take her to the ER. When we got there, I insisted that a neurologist be brought in and insisted she be admitted for observation. After four hours in the ER, they finally called her doctor and she was admitted.

A CT Scan done while in the emergency room showed that she had an older Lacunar stroke. They stated that it could have happened anywhere from a week to a few years ago. They told me that there was nothing I could have done because these type strokes show little to no difference. It most likely happened in her sleep, they said.

When I’d heard this, I could pretty much pinpoint when it happened. One day she was dressing herself, when she woke up the next morning she was different as I explained before; unable to recognize her clothing, unable to dress herself, totally confused, and a little weaker.

For the next day and half I was running to the hospital, talking with doctors, neurologists, social workers, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, and working out some kind of schedule to have all these people come to her house for the therapy she needed.

Her doctor suggested I place her in a skilled nursing facility for rehab in order for her to get her therapy and for me to have some respite care. I told him I would rather have her home because a facility would confuse her more. He totally understood and commended me for the decisions I was making in the best interest of my mother. He told me I was doing a wonderful job and encouraged me to continue to keep her home, in her environment. His encouragement and thoughtfullness was all I needed to give me that extra ounce of strength to continue doing what I'm doing. Caregivers don't hear much encouragement, and when one hears it from a doctor, it affirms that what we are doing is the best for our loved one.

Her doctor and the neurologist stated that she was in the severe stage of Alzheimer's. I'd already known that, but at least I now know for certain that I was correct in my thoughts of her progression and it was verified by doctors. It doesn't take much to understand the disease when you watch it's progression and you're dealing with it everyday. Even the slightest change is noticeable.

Today I brought her home from the hospital at 3:00 and we were back in our routine. Just a little slower now because she’s walking with a walker. She was once again exhausted and in bed by 4:00. I knew I needed to get all the rest I could because the team of therapists and nurses were scheduled to start tomorrow.

When she fell asleep, so did I.

Then the phone woke me up. Nevermind about that. I won’t even get into it here. It’s not worth it!