It Isn't Worth the Aggravation

Monday, September 3, 2007

I called my oldest brother and asked if he had taken the pages from Mom’s family album the last time he was up. He said, “No, I wouldn’t take the only thing that would help her remember.” I told him that was why I was so upset that they were ripped out and missing; because it is the only way to show her she had a past and those memories/pictures are now gone.

So, here I am, between a rock and a hard place, again, wanting to help Mom keep her memory as long as possible and not being able to ask for pictures taken from her own album. After speaking with my oldest brother, I remembered I had shown Mom the album before and wrote about it in my blog. I searched and found my writing in October, 2005. This verified to me that he couldn’t have taken the pictures because he hasn’t been up to visit since 2004.

He told me not to bother asking my other brother because I’d just end up with World War III on my hands. I agreed and haven’t bothered with it.

It’s sad that the few things Mom could or may enjoy have been taken from her personal family album and her home. I get so tired of dealing with added nonsense that I’m inclined to agree with my oldest brother. It would cause World War III and I’m not willing to get sick over childish foolishness. It isn’t worth the aggravation.

I had planned to make copies of the album for each of us kids when her journey with Alzheimer's Disease is complete.

Hopefully, between the copies of pictures Mom had given me over the years, what pictures I'd already had, and the pictures in my uncle's album, I'll be able to make a new memory album for Mom that will be nearly as good as the one she had.

Photo Album Pages Ripped Out--Memories Gone

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Mom was up about six times last night. It always amazes me that she can wake up, yell for me to help her with her pants, and be back to sleep and snoring before I get back in bed. Of course, I lay there trying to go back to sleep and normally don’t until after her third or fourth need to use the pot. Once I’m awake, it’s very difficult for me to go back to sleep. I’m starting to look like a raccoon with my black circles under my eyes.

I did manage to get a few hours sleep before I woke her up at 9:00. She wasn’t happy about getting up and she was less happy about having to get a shower. After an hour in the bathroom, I finally had her washed, dressed and ready to sit in the kitchen to eat. Mom is normally always very sweet, but when Alzheimer's Disease and agitation decides to take over her brain, she can be a handful.

This morning she wanted to know where we were and why we weren’t eating at her house. For months she’s not recognized her own home and I continue to point out the things that might register: the cabinets that Dad built and put in the kitchen, the ceramic trivets she made that are and have been hanging on the kitchen wall for thirty years. Lately, I realized that she really doesn’t remember these things; she’s only remembering me telling her about them.

I tried explaining what the house looked like when Mom and Dad bought it, but it wasn’t doing any good. She said, “Are there pictures of all this you’re telling me about?”

“Yes, Mom there is.”

I went upstairs to get the family photo album and show her what the house looked like when she and Dad bought the place.

When I took the album downstairs and opened it, I was totally shocked. More than forty pages of pictures had been ripped out from the old rope tie that once held them together. She asked where all the pages were. I didn’t know what to say! All the pictures that could have helped remind her of her past were GONE. She cried when she recognized the album and saw all the pages torn out. “Who did this?” she asked. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know how to console her, other than to tell her that I’d try to find them.

I knew Mom hadn’t ripped them out; her picture albums were her pride and joy. Beside that, they were upstairs in a dresser, and she hasn’t been upstairs since I moved in. Good God, what’s next?!