Christmas Shopping, Christmas Cards and Who’s …?

Mom received several cards yesterday. She didn’t know who they were from.

The conversation went like this:

Look Mom, here’s a card from Bill.

Who’s Bill?

He was the best man at your wedding.

Why can’t I remember that?

Here’s one from Alma.

Who’s Alma?

Ardis’ sister.

Who’s Ardis?

Boot’s mom.

Who’s Boots?

Bob’s wife.

Who’s Bob?

Bob is my brother, your son.

It’s heartbreaking to know that she’s fading away day by day. Bob just called this weekend, too. But that didn’t ring a bell either.

Today she received two more cards.

Here’s a card from Larry.

He’s a cousin, isn’t he?

Yes, Mom. He’s your cousin.

Here’s one from Kary.

Who’s Kary?

Bob’s daughter.

Who’s Bob.

We went through all the cards and the same conversation all over again. By the time she asked, “Who’s so and so” for the fourth time, she literally laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes. After we went through the cards again, we were both laughing so hard she put the cards aside. Then she said, “It’s nice of these people to send cards whoever they are.”

I pulled out a box of Christmas cards and got ready to start addressing them to those who sent to her. She said, “I’m not sending cards to people I don’t know. What are these cards for anyway?”

I set the box of cards aside. My heart just wasn’t in it.

Two has been trying, but even with all the shopping and wrapping I still can’t seem to get into the Christmas spirit. Gee, I wonder why. It’s difficult trying to celebrate a holiday when Mom seems to have lost the concept of everything. Thanksgiving came and went and she had no clue what Thanksgiving was. I don’t think Christmas is going to be much different.

On another note: The 12 days of hell weren’t all bad. My daughter, Angel, visited both weekends and we enjoyed spending time with her, Katie and Tim. Katie is growing so fast and picking up so many new words. It’s always a joy to have them visit and Mom enjoys watching Katie play with the pillows on her couch and look through magazines.

On December 7th, Two and I celebrated our fifth year together by going out for breakfast, and we spent the day shopping. Two saved his money from his last four wood sales and managed to get all his Christmas shopping done for his six kids and seven grandchildren and his parents. We also bought presents for my daughter, Stacey, her husband, Dennis and her three kids, Trinity, Quenton, and Deandre, in Alabama. We wrapped everything and sent all the presents Monday. I still have to buy for Angel, Katie and Tim and Mom and Two. I probably wouldn’t have all Stacey’s family bought for already if it wasn’t that I had to mail everything.

Trinity surprised me with a phone call last week. She sounds so grown up on the phone. She wanted to know what size shirt Two wears so she could get him something for Christmas. I thought that was so sweet.

I’ve yet to visit Stacey and the kids in Alabama and I still haven’t seen their house. It’s not a trip I can take Mom along on. Two never gets to see his kids either, unless they come here. The trip to see them is too much for Mom as well. He sacrifices so much to support me in taking care of Mom. He’s yet to see two of his grandchildren.

Oh yes, in case you lost count, between the two of us, Two and I have eight kids and 10 grandchildren and one on the way. We’re getting old! LOL I just hope that he and I are not too old to make the trip to visit everyone when this journey is over.

One more thing: I did manage to get a few books read in the wee hours of the morning when Mom was up and down. So, I’ll be posting a few more book reviews as soon as I type them up from my handwritten versions.

And...Yay! The furnace is finally fixed.

Furnace Fixed, Packing & Moving

Thursday went quickly. I called Tom to ask if the furnace part came in yet. He said it didn’t, but his supplier was taking the part off a new furnace so he could bring it out and install it later in the day. He called about fifteen minutes before I was ready to leave to pick up Mom. I told Mom on the way home that Tom would be at the house fixing the furnace when we got home. Two Feather came down and talked with Tom while he worked and until I got back home with Mom. When Tom came upstairs to go outside to get a tool Mom wasn’t sure who he was. He said hello and went back downstairs to work. When he came back upstairs into the dining room to set the thermostat a few minutes later, Mom said I haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you and when did you grow that thing on your lip. He chuckled and said, I’ve had this mustache since I was in the military.

Two Feather left and went back home. While Tom worked on the furnace, I made Mom’s dinner and got her ready for bed. Tom left about 6:00 and the furnace was running. He said, I think it’s finally fixed. Nothing personal, but I hope I don’t hear from you until next year. We both laughed and I said, no offense taken, I hope not too.

The furnace ran its cycle, shut off after he left, and didn’t come back on. I felt bad that I had to call him again. He was in the middle of eating dinner when I called and said he’d come right over. When he came, he was prepared to tear the entire furnace apart all the way down to the fuel line. He knew the module he’d replaced was working so it had to be something else. He installed a new thermostat, took apart the fuel pump and cleaned the small fuel filter inside and put everything back together. The furnace ran a 40-minute cycle this time and the thermostat moved up to 70 degrees. He waited for the house to cool some and see if the furnace kicked back on by itself. Fifteen minutes later, it did. He was a bit paranoid because of all the problems, so he waited for it to run another cycle before he left. Once again the furnace came on by itself. Tom left about 8:00 satisfied that the problem was fixed. The furnace has been working ever since. YAY!!!

Angel came in and stayed with me for the night again because she had another appointment on Friday morning. She got in around 9:30 PM. She brought a birthday bag with presents in it. She drove in last Monday for another interview, and had the bag with her then thinking we might get together for lunch and give me my present early, but we weren’t able to get together because Two Feather and I had a business appointment. Anyway, she gave me a beautiful blue velour jogging suit and the newest Stephen King book. Of course, I loved both gifts. We sat upstairs and talked until 11:00.

Friday morning I woke up Mom and got her ready for the day and woke Angel up so she could get ready for her trip downtown. She was going to drive back to her house after her appointment and said she’d call when she got home.

Two Feather rode me down to Mom’s on the Mule and I packed up a lot of my books, writing files, and my summer clothes to take back to my house. I just don’t have enough room upstairs and I’m not making use of my writing files right now anyway. I figured I might as well start moving things back to my house.

I also packed up all his Indian art that I had in my room upstairs. We had been selling it online, but so much has changed with Mom, that I don’t have the time to devote to taking the pictures, writing the descriptions, packing everything, or running the items to the post office when they've sold. I feel bad about this, because Two Feather has given up everything to help me take care of Mom. He’s given up his way of life: going to powwows; setting up and selling his Indian art at powwows, craft shows, and flea markets; selling firewood. He’s given up absolutely everything to show respect to a woman whom he has no actual ties to. Why? Because he loves me and he loves my mom. And because he’s a respectful human being who lives by his Cherokee heritage. He’s a traditionalist and taking care of the elderly is part of their tradition.

He doesn’t whine or complain that our life has changed so much; he accepts it as part of the path we’re suppose to be on right now, and so do I. We’ll have no regrets about these years spent with Mom and we take pride in the fact that we’re here for her through every step of her journey with Alzheimer’s.

There was no doubt in my mind that I would take care of Mom if and when the time was needed. I’m proud to say I have a man who stands beside me and believes, as I do, in the same family values, honor, and respect due our elders. I think I’ll take my Mom’s advice from when she met him six years ago before Alzheimer’s, “Hang onto him. He’s a keeper. He’s a wonderful man.”

Yes he is, Mom, and he shows it every day!