Visit With Uncle Joe & Take Out Dinner

Turn Your Clocks Back

This morning when I got up, I decided it was a good day to visit my Uncle Joe at the nursing home. I don’t get up to see him as often as I used to since Mom finds it more and more difficult to walk distances any longer than 20 feet without tiring out. The walk from the car to the front entrance is three times that long, and the walk from the front entrance to the elevator that takes us to the fourth floor is again twice that long. By the time we reach the sunroom where Uncle Joe sits and reads the daily newspaper, Mom is exhausted.

Uncle Joe wasn’t in the sunroom when we arrived; he was in his room. Nurses were taking care of a patient in his room, so we couldn’t go in and the nurse told Joe we were waiting outside the door.

I had gone to the nursing home to visit twice to see Joe without Mom along, while Mom was at day care, because she was just learning to use her walker. It had been two months since I took Mom with me. He was happy to see us when he came out of his room.

He wheeled himself down the hall to the sunroom and Mom walked with her walker to the seat I’d placed at his table. We sat and talked for nearly two hours before Mom said she was tired and wanted to go home. During the visit, Mom kept saying, “I hate this place.” She gets upset listening to some of the patients loudly repeating sentences over and over again.

I always get a bit depressed after visiting with Uncle Joe because he used to be so independent and was able to come and go as he pleased when he lived in his own apartment. Had I not been taking care of Mom at the time he became ill, I would have moved him into my house and took care of him. Under the circumstances, I couldn’t take care of two elderly loved ones and he knew that. He even told me he was better off in the nursing home because I have my hands full with taking care of Mom and he knew he could no longer live alone.

He’s adjusted very well in the year and a half he’s been there. Because he is given his medications at proper times and he eats three well-balanced meals a day, he is doing quite well. Still, I hate the thought of him being there.

Our visit ended about 3:30 and I hadn’t taken anything out for dinner so I stopped at the Kentucky Fried Chicken to bring home dinner. Mom said, “Make sure you get something for Two Feather. He has to eat, too.”

I said, “Okay, I’m sure he’ll like that.”

“Maybe he’ll come down and eat with us,” she said smiling.

When we got home, I called Two Feather and told him we stopped, brought dinner home, and Mom wanted him to come down and eat with us. As I mentioned before, he seldom eats dinner at Mom’s house, but when she invites him, he never disappoints her. We ate dinner and Two Feather left to go home since he knew I’d be getting Mom showered and dressed for bed.

All in all, it was a nice day, a nice dinner, (especially since I didn’t have to cook it) and Mom was happy to crawl into bed by the time the day was over.

After Mom was in bed, I ran around the house and turned the clocks back an hour. I always do this before I go to bed so the correct time is on all the clocks when we wake up. So for those of you who use Daylight Saving Time, don’t forget to turn your clocks back tonight…or in the morning if you’re a procrastinator. :)

Tomorrow I plan to finish writing the book reviews for the books I've read. You'll see them as soon as I complete them.

Visits and Smiles Are Priceless

My daughter, Angel, her husband Tim, and my granddaughter Katie came in again this weekend. Third visit in four weeks. It’s great seeing them when they come in. Mom always enjoys their visits. They stay for an hour or so and leave when they know Mom looks and sounds tired.

They’re looking at houses this weekend because they are planning to move back to this area. Their camper will be parked here at Mom’s for a while until they find a house and move it to their new home.

Seeing her camper sitting in the yard makes me think of camping and the last trip when we took Mom to a Powwow over Labor Day weekend 2006. We’ve always included Mom in everything we do, and wanted to continue taking her places for as long as we could. We found out that weekend even short trips for a few days only added to her confusion and frustration from this horrible disease Alzheimer’s. Staying in a camper only confused her more. It took a week for her to realize she was back home and things were never the same after that; Alzheimer’s was stealing her mind bit-by-bit, memory-by-memory.

Now, we enjoy each day here on our wonderful piece of heaven in our own backyard. It’s peaceful, quiet, melancholy, and beautiful. Mom is quite satisfied staying at home, even if most of the time she doesn’t realize it is her home.

This weekend would have been a lovely weekend to go on a camping trip. The cool soft breeze, beautiful changes in the color of the trees, and sitting by a small brook or river sounds so inviting. We all look forward to the day when we’re able to load up the campers and meet for a weekend rendezvous again, but we’re all quite content enjoying the time we have with Mom in our little slice of nature here at home.

Katie is learning all sorts of new words. She's now asking, "What's that?" and "What's this?" as she points to different things. She says, "GG" and points to my mom. My grandchildren have called Mom 'GG' since they learned how to talk. It's much easier than saying great-grandma. My other granddaughter, Trinity, couldn't get out the "grandma" for me; it ended up coming out as "Bammaw" so that's the name that's sticking for me. Katie hasn't mastered it yet, but she's getting there.

None of us would trade the time we have with Mom now for anything. Just seeing the smile on her face when her granddaughters and great-grandchildren come to visit is worth the time we spend with her. Her smile is priceless and it will be imbedded in our hearts and minds forever.

Nice Visit -- Big Surprise for Mom

I got Mom up at 9:00 as I do every Saturday morning. We went through our regular routine of getting her into the shower, dressing, and eating breakfast. By 10:35 she was ready for her day.

We normally sit at the breakfast table after she's finished eating, so it wasn't out of the ordinary that she sat drinking her coffee while I excused myself and used the phone. I called my brother and told him she was ready.

I sat waiting anxiously for him and his wife to pull up and wondered how she would react when they came in the door.

When she heard their car pull up, she asked, “Who’s that?”

I said, “You have company, Mom.”

When my brother and his wife walked in, I could tell by the expression on her face that she wasn’t sure who they were.

My sister-in-law walked up and hugged her and said, “Hi, Mom. How have you been.”

I thought for sure her bubbly voice would ring a bell and Mom would realize who she was, but that look of confusion was still on her face.

She said, “Do you know these people? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen them.”

I knew from that statement that she wanted me to tell her who they were; their faces were familiar, but she couldn’t figure out who they were.

“I sure do know them, Mom. Do you?”

“I think so,” she said.

My sister-in-law jumped in immediately and said, “Sure you know us, Mom. This is your son, Bob, and I’m his wife, Boots.”

Boots handled it perfectly, introducing themselves.

After they talked for a few minutes, Mom asked where they were from. She was still confused.

I sat at the table to make sure Mom was comfortable with them there and told Mom I was going upstairs to let them visit.

Mom said, “You can stay down here.” That is always a sure sign to me that she doesn’t want me to leave the room, but I felt they needed their time with Mom without me there.

I said, “I know, Mom, but Bob and Boots don’t get to visit often and this is their time to visit. I get to see you every day.”

She seemed okay with that and I went upstairs. I came down a few times to take her to the bathroom and went back upstairs when she was finished and back at the table with them.

After a few hours, Mom told them she was tired and they decided it was time to leave. They seemed like they had a nice visit. They thanked me, I said they were welcome and they went on their way.

They gave Mom a picture of her great-grandchildren and put all their names on the back.

After they left, I took Mom into the living room and sat with her. She was very quiet and thoughtful for about 10 minutes as she stared at the picture. Then she said, “who are these people in this picture, and who were those people that just left?”

For the rest of the day and most of the afternoon, I explained the same thing over and over. “That was your son and his wife and the picture is of your great-grandchildren.”

I think by the time she went to bed, she finally grasped who they were.

“Wow, that was a big surprise to see Bob and Boots today!”

“I’m glad it was a surprise, Mom. Glad you had a nice visit.”

I was glad they had a nice visit. I'm sure my brother has a little better understanding of a few things about Alzheimer's Disease. At least he saw for his own eyes how easily Mom tires out, how slow she is at getting around, and how often she forgets what's just been said.