Today Was Different

Well, today was different for a few reasons. Mom woke up asking me who was the bitch in the house last night. Whoever it was she thought was there, she didn’t like this old woman and she thought she was a thief. She’d grabbed her walker and moved it from the bottom of the bed to beside her bed so this person couldn’t steal it. I told Mom there wasn’t anyone in the house but her and I and she must have been dreaming. She was convinced that someone was in her room during the night. That was quite strange because Mom didn’t get out of bed even once last night. Then, while we were combing her hair, she stared at something on her dresser. I asked what she was looking at and she said she was looking at the picture of ‘us’ and pointed at a picture of her and my dad. Okay. Was the ‘us’ her thinking her and Dad, or was she thinking her and I. I didn’t ask. I’m not sure I wanted to know. I just said, oh, okay, that’s a nice picture, and I prodded her toward the kitchen to give her breakfast and pills before we left. On the way to day care all she said was how pretty the leaves were.

There was another reason today was different. It was the first time since my granddaughter Katie was born that I had the opportunity to spend time with her without Angel and Tim around. I took Mom to day care and Angel brought Katie over about 10:30. Angel’s interview wasn’t until 1:00 but she wanted to make Katie lunch and get her down for a nap before she left at noon. I think Angel was a bit nervous leaving Katie because it was the first time Katie had been alone with me without Angel around.

Katie seemed quite comfortable at my house actually. She ate and fell asleep before Angel left, which gave Angel time to change clothes and get ready for her appointment, and give me the motherly directions of what to do when Katie woke up; change her diaper, give her the canned peaches, and little fruit snack chewy things. Yep, I think I can handle that; I had two little girls way back when. LOL

It felt really strange having a baby in the house again. It reminded me of when I took care of my granddaughter Trinity for nearly two years while Stacey was in Korea. I sat on the couch and watched Katie sleep. Her little dimpled fingers opened and closed into a fist and her foot would lift and kick the blanket. She rolled from her back to her side and onto her tummy, then onto her side again. It felt good feeling like a grandma again.

Katie woke up about 1:30. I handled the diaper change and snack time like an old pro and we were off to better things. Katie and I sat on the couch and played with a little musical snowman for a while. Two Feather pushed a small couch pillow over and it tipped onto Katie’s elbow. She giggled and pushed it back. The two of them pushed that pillow back and forth for about ten minutes, giggling each time it flipped. Then, Katie did the cutest thing, Two Feather started to push the pillow again, and I guess Katie decided that was enough pushing and giggling and she put her forefinger up, waved it back and forth, and said, “no, no, no.”

Angel called about 2:20 and said she was waiting for another person to interview her and she’d be a little longer. She asked how Katie was doing. I don’t know if she could hear Katie giggling in the background, but I told her she had her snack, she was fine, and to be careful on the way home. We were doing fine.

After I got off the phone with Angel, Katie decided she liked my dog and crawled up on the couch by her to stroke her fur. Then we moved over to another chair and Katie played with the little talking piano toy Angel brought with her. The piano keys were labeled A, B, C, D, and E. A was for apple and had a biting crunch sound, B never got pushed, so I’m not sure what it was for, C was for car with a horn beep (I always thought C was for cat), D was for dog with a barking sound, and E was for elephant with an elephant sound. Wow, toys have changed so much since my kids were little. Angel and Stacey used to have the big round Fisher Price toy with the letters and pictures of animals. They had to turn the big red arrow to point to the animal and pull the cord to hear the name and sound of the animal.

Anyway, Katie either got tired of pushing the buttons on the piano toy, or she got tired of me taking pictures of her; whichever it was, she put her hands to her side and gave me this look that seemed to say, “Are we done yet?”

Katie and I moved back over to the couch, I changed her again, and by that time Angel was walking in the door at 3:30. She put everything in the car and left for home.

Katie was only awake for two hours while she was there but we managed to fill those two hours with a lot of playtime. After she left I sat on the couch and talked with Two Feather for a half hour before I had to leave to pick up Mom. On the way out to the car, I realized this old ladies’ body isn’t what it used to be. My knees felt rug burned, and my back was killing me. Crawling around on the floor didn’t bother me five years ago, but a lot has changed in five years.

I picked Mom up at day care and the first thing she asked me was whether she woke me up last night during the night. When I said no, she said, that’s odd; I thought I woke you to throw that old woman out of the house. Nope, Mom, you didn’t wake me. That’s good she said. *shrug* She didn't mention it again.

Mom ate very little dinner and went to bed as soon as she was finished. She said she was exhausted and felt cold. I tucked her in, said I love you and came up to my room. Within minutes I could hear the soft steady breathing of her sleep. I’m tired too; think I’ll hit the sack early tonight. All this mothering and grand mothering is tiring. LOL

Before closing though, I'd like to say thank you to all soldiers serving in every part of the world and all our veterans who served in the past. Thank you for what you've done for our country. Yesterday was the official Veteran's Day, but since it's being observed today, I felt it only right to let you all know you're in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks Dad, Uncle Joe, Stacey, Angel, and all of you wonderful military personnel.

Visit With Uncle Joe & Take Out Dinner

Turn Your Clocks Back

This morning when I got up, I decided it was a good day to visit my Uncle Joe at the nursing home. I don’t get up to see him as often as I used to since Mom finds it more and more difficult to walk distances any longer than 20 feet without tiring out. The walk from the car to the front entrance is three times that long, and the walk from the front entrance to the elevator that takes us to the fourth floor is again twice that long. By the time we reach the sunroom where Uncle Joe sits and reads the daily newspaper, Mom is exhausted.

Uncle Joe wasn’t in the sunroom when we arrived; he was in his room. Nurses were taking care of a patient in his room, so we couldn’t go in and the nurse told Joe we were waiting outside the door.

I had gone to the nursing home to visit twice to see Joe without Mom along, while Mom was at day care, because she was just learning to use her walker. It had been two months since I took Mom with me. He was happy to see us when he came out of his room.

He wheeled himself down the hall to the sunroom and Mom walked with her walker to the seat I’d placed at his table. We sat and talked for nearly two hours before Mom said she was tired and wanted to go home. During the visit, Mom kept saying, “I hate this place.” She gets upset listening to some of the patients loudly repeating sentences over and over again.

I always get a bit depressed after visiting with Uncle Joe because he used to be so independent and was able to come and go as he pleased when he lived in his own apartment. Had I not been taking care of Mom at the time he became ill, I would have moved him into my house and took care of him. Under the circumstances, I couldn’t take care of two elderly loved ones and he knew that. He even told me he was better off in the nursing home because I have my hands full with taking care of Mom and he knew he could no longer live alone.

He’s adjusted very well in the year and a half he’s been there. Because he is given his medications at proper times and he eats three well-balanced meals a day, he is doing quite well. Still, I hate the thought of him being there.

Our visit ended about 3:30 and I hadn’t taken anything out for dinner so I stopped at the Kentucky Fried Chicken to bring home dinner. Mom said, “Make sure you get something for Two Feather. He has to eat, too.”

I said, “Okay, I’m sure he’ll like that.”

“Maybe he’ll come down and eat with us,” she said smiling.

When we got home, I called Two Feather and told him we stopped, brought dinner home, and Mom wanted him to come down and eat with us. As I mentioned before, he seldom eats dinner at Mom’s house, but when she invites him, he never disappoints her. We ate dinner and Two Feather left to go home since he knew I’d be getting Mom showered and dressed for bed.

All in all, it was a nice day, a nice dinner, (especially since I didn’t have to cook it) and Mom was happy to crawl into bed by the time the day was over.

After Mom was in bed, I ran around the house and turned the clocks back an hour. I always do this before I go to bed so the correct time is on all the clocks when we wake up. So for those of you who use Daylight Saving Time, don’t forget to turn your clocks back tonight…or in the morning if you’re a procrastinator. :)

Tomorrow I plan to finish writing the book reviews for the books I've read. You'll see them as soon as I complete them.

Happy Birthday, Two Feather!! Uncle Joe!! & Dennis!!!

I think I’m finally caught up with all the latest news.

I went to see my Uncle Joe yesterday. It was his birthday. He was in good spirits. All the nurses were surrounding him with flowers and balloons. He's adjusted very well to the nursing home. I'm so glad he did. I wish I could take care of him, too, but he understands that I have my hands full with Mom. He was happy to see me and really liked the new shirts, handkerchiefs, and winter hat I bought him for his birthday. Happy Birthday, Uncle Joe!

Today was Two Feather’s birthday.
We spent a few hours at the Rogers Flea Market earlier in the morning and came home. I was exhausted because Mom was up all night last night, so I curled up on the couch and fell asleep.

Two spent the day cutting and splitting wood.

I didn’t wake up until it was time to pick up Mom.

Poor guy didn’t have much of a birthday. I felt horrible that we didn’t celebrate in some way. He’s such an understanding man. Not too many men in this world would do what he’s doing; living alone, without his significant other, while I’m at Mom’s taking care of her, cooking for himself, and maintaining both properties.

I appreciate everything he does and Mom does, too.

Happy Birthday, Two. Thank you for being you!!

Can't forget to mention that today is also my son-in-law's birthday. Happy Birthday, Dennis!

Went to See Uncle Joe & Dealing With Dilemmas

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Went to see my Uncle Joe at the nursing home. Mom and I enjoyed sitting outside with him for the afternoon. It was the last hot dog roast for the summer. We all enjoyed our hot dogs and sat on the bench outside until about 3:30. Joe was in good spirits but sad to see us leave. I’m thankful that he understands Mom gets tired and I neededed to get her home.

We were home by 4:00 and Mom was exhausted from sitting and talking all day and walking the 30 feet (twice) from the front entrance of the nursing home to the car.

She wasn’t hungry because she ate the hot dog at 3:00, so I made a small salad and she ate about half of it before she started dozing off at the table. It took until 5:00 to get her cleaned up and dressed for bed. Once she was comfortable in bed, she was snoring by 5:15.

Mom gets worn out easily from doing practically nothing. I sit and listen to her breathing and realize that it won’t be long before she’s unable to visit with me when I go to see Joe. The ride, the walk from the car to the front entrance of the home, and sitting trying to think of things to talk about is exhausting for her.

Tonight I sit and contemplate all that has gone on lately and I wished for others to understand what she’s going through, what it takes to be a caregiver for her as she goes through the stages of Alzheimer's Disease, and I try once more to relax and take advantage of the time she sleeps. I begin to question myself, and wonder if I’ve done the best thing for Mom by keeping her in her home, in her own environment, and trying to keep her memory for as long as possible. When I’ve hashed out all the problems I’ve dealt with that aren’t associated directly with keeping Mom safe, warm, loved, and comfortable, I come to the same conclusion. I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing exactly what Mom asked me to do. Now, if I could just continue to keep telling myself that, my job of care giving would be so much easier. I need to remember that I do not need to explain my decisions to those who don’t agree with me, I do not need to explain why I have to keep Mom on a schedule, and I do not need to be everyone's "excuse" for what they do not understand or do not want to accept. I can only send information about the disease, let them know that they are responsible for learning what they can and they are responsible for their own feelings of inadequacy. If they don't feel they see her often enough, maybe they should pick up the phone once a week rather than once every 4-6 weeks when it's convenient for them. I’ve tried everything from bending over backwards, to being blunt, to ending up in an argument—none of these courses I’ve tried have made a difference.

I’ve finally reached the point where I have to ignore the problem people, continue to do what I’ve been doing for Mom and make sure I begin to take care of myself as well. I cannot let people who don’t understand Alzheimer's Disease and its many ups and downs, upset me and possibly endanger my health. If that happens, there would be no one to care for Mom.