The Rash Is Gone

Not much new here lately. Mom’s rash is gone. The antihistamine and the anti-itch cream must have done the job. It's been gone since Friday. The dermatologist couldn’t fit her in until this week and they said to cancel the appointment if the rash was gone by then. So I guess we’ll never know what it was. I’m just glad it’s gone and the itching is over with.

We're seeing more robins and the woodpeckers are starting their drumming on the trees. The daffodils are poking out of the ground at Mom's house. It's starting to look like spring here. My place sits in the woods and doesn't get much sun, so there's still four inches of snow on the ground and it still looks like winter up there.

Angel, Tim, and Katie visited on Sunday. Other than that, it’s been quiet around here and I don’t have much to say.

Just wanted to let everyone know we’re doing okay here.

A Whole Bunch of Rambling

I haven’t blogged much lately because…quite frankly—I’m exhausted! After reading Robyn’s post about her mom getting up several times a night, I figured I’d finally talk about what I’ve been going through.

You all know about Mr. N. and how he and Mom have become such “great” friends. Well, this friendship and talking has turned to him holding her hand and kissing her on the cheek. The day care workers thought it was all cute and innocent and nothing indecent. Maybe not indecent, but still, he is a married man, Mom is vulnerable, and I told them I thought they should deter these kinds of actions because I didn’t want my mom to get hurt. I wasn’t only worried about Mom getting her feelings hurt when Mr. N. may put his attention elsewhere, but also I was worried that Mrs. N. may walk in and see this and maybe not be so understanding. I still don’t know if she knows about it.

It’s nice that Mom is enjoying the day care socially, but I spoke with the day care workers several times months ago asking them to discourage the hand holding and kissing. They all told me how Mom and Mr. N. would make plans to go out and how they thought it was so cute. Deep down I knew it was a catastrophe waiting to happen. I know my mom.

Now, another lady is paying attention to Mr. N. and Mom is not happy! For the past two months, Mom has been getting up nearly a dozen times a night talking to Mr. N. in her sleep, getting out of bed, thinking he’s in the living room, thinking this lady is here stealing him. Good grief. I’ve told the day care workers that he is on her mind constantly when she is at home and reminded them once again that they should have discouraged this type of affection between them.

The beginning of last week Mom became aggressive at day care toward the lady who is showing Mr. N. affection. Mom told her to move (in not so nice words) and when the lady argued with her, Mom told her to shut up! At the end of last week Mom became angry again when she saw this woman sitting by him. She clenched her fists and said she was going to go over there and punch the woman (also not in such nice language). The day care workers told me how she’s reacting and said something needs to be done. I said, “I’ve been telling you that for months. Oh, it wasn’t a problem until the snake came out and bit you in the face. I’ve been dealing with her up all night for a few months because of this situation. You are the one’s who thought it was so cute, so you deal with it here without being mean to my mother.”

I suggested that when Mr. N. reaches for Mom’s hand or kisses her on the cheek he be reminded that he is married, and suggested that Mom be reminded that he is married and these type things shouldn’t go on. If Mom didn't have Alzheimer's she wouldn't allow such a thing. She would be horrified if she were in her right mind and knew she was allowing a married man to show her affection. Dancing and talking is one thing, but she wouldn’t allow this. For crying out loud, my dad’s best friend who had been a widower for more than 20 years asked her out and kissed her on the cheek six years after Dad died and she told him off. Poor guy. That relationship would have been nice, but she didn’t want anything to do with it because he had been my dad’s best friend.

So…here I am, up nearly a dozen times every night with her cussing and yelling at Mr. N. and this woman because he’s cavorting with someone else. He’s still mainly interested in Mom but since the day care workers have been trying to change the situation (a little too late) Mom is becoming more and more angry.

Her anger wouldn’t change now even if they let them sit together because Mom would still carry on about the “other” woman. When something really matters to Mom, she doesn’t forget it. I told the day care workers they have to deal with it since they let it go on so long.

Angel came over on Saturday to sit with Mom from 1-4:00 so Two and I could visit a friend of his in Ohio. Nearly two hours driving and an hour visit. We were home by 3:30. It was good for Two to get out and see someone he hasn’t seen since November. The driving wasn’t much fun, but it was good for me to get out into different surroundings for a few hours. I realized how much my social skills are deteriorating. I barely talked and when I did, I stumbled over everything I said. Good grief, I need to get out and talk to people before I lose the ability to speak other than repeating myself all day long.

Sunday we had atrocious winds. The lady from church came and gave Mom communion at 1:00. When she came in the house, she said a tree had fallen over Mom’s driveway and was leaning on the power lines. The lines had been ripped off my neighbor’s house. My brother came at 1:15 and said the same thing. He parked his truck and walked up the drive because he didn’t think he could get under it with his truck. He told me I should call the power company. I said, “Of course, just one more thing for me to do because no one else does anything.” He was going into the hall to pick up the phone (which hasn’t been there for three years) and call the power company and said, “What’s the address here?” “You don’t even know your own mother’s addresss?” I asked. “Nevermind, I’ll call the power company.” He stayed until 3:15. I made Mom dinner and we chatted until 4:30. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. It was probably a good thing that she went to bed a tad earlier because the power went out at 5:00 and didn’t come back on until 7:00. Thank goodness the power came back on in such a short time. I was bored stiff for the two hours it was off trying to read a book with a flashlight. LOL Mom was up ten times during the night. This time she was whispering and telling Mr. N. she hopes he’s happy and then yelling at someone to get the hell away from her. I have no idea who she was talking to then.

Monday morning I had Mom in the car and down the driveway and had to back up all the way to the house. The power company cut the end of the tree off the power lines, tightened the lines, and called me at 1:00 in the morning to find out if our power was back on, but they left the tree on the driveway. I didn't know about the tree until I tried to leave in the morning. I called Two Feather to come down and cut up and move the tree so I could take Mom to day care. I called my brother too, figuring he should do something for a change and help Two, but he didn’t answer his phone. I didn’t bother leaving a message on his answering machine. He was home.

Mom’s medication needs changed because she’s getting the itching side effects from trazadone. The doctor took her off respiradol several months ago and I asked him if he would put her back on it but instead he said to try the trazadone. Mom's moods are worse and she's getting up at night more and more. Now, he’s going to order seroquel. They were suppose to call it in on Monday but the pharmacy said they didn’t. The office was closed by the time the pharmacy called to see what the doctor was going to order. The doctor’s office was closed today probably due to the snow, so I’ll have to call them tomorrow and find out when they will call it in.

I kept Mom home from day care today because it snowed overnight and she (and I) were up all night with her dreams, hallucinations, cussing, and wandering. She was a gem all day. She sat and colored while I went through stacks of receipts and got everything together for her taxes. Next, is getting my Uncle Joe’s paperwork ready and then I can finally get the taxes done. That will be a burden off my mind.

We got about six inches of snow today. Then it turned to freezing rain. I’m not sure what it’s doing out there now, but I can say that I’m truly looking forward to summer. Yes, I said summer. The heck with spring. Let’s just move onto the 70 and 80 degree days. I need a vacation!

Winter Snow and Bitter Cold

Winter is here. We had four inches of snow dumped on us overnight on January 2. I love looking at the snow, but I can't stand the bitter cold that comes with it.

Someone Took Over The Dance Floor

I didn’t get the presents wrapped as I planned after I logged off last night. Instead, I spent the evening, and most of the night, sitting in a chair by my mom’s bed calming her down. Apparently she was dreaming of this Mr. N., again. Not such sweet dreams this time, though. She was already to get dressed and go to “club” to fight the new lady who’s making moves on this guy. I guess this woman was dancing with Mr. N. in Mom’s dream and Mom wasn’t happy with how the whole dance went. “She shouldn’t be acting like that with him,” Mom said.

Mom’s totally forgotten that Mr. N. is married. She wouldn’t give him the time of day, other than friendly talk, if she didn’t have this mind-stealing disease Alzheimer’s. I told Mom it’s nice to have friends at club, but she can’t very well get angry at another woman when, in fact, Mr. N. shouldn’t be acting that way with either one of them because he’s married. That didn’t matter; according to Mom, the new woman is married, too. Mom has no concept of marriage anymore, either. Oh brother!

I finally got her calmed down when I said, “Mom, you’re 84, you’d look pretty silly fighting with another woman over a man.” I think some part of her “old self” snuck back into her head for a few seconds because she said, “yeah, I don’t want to make an ass of myself.” I’m not sure whether she thought she’d make an ass of herself because she was considering fighting, or because he is married. Either way, it was a long night. She was up every hour angry with this other woman who’s taking over the dance floor. On the brighter side of this whole night without sleep—she didn’t remember any of it in the morning.

It’s been a cold and blustery day. First it snowed, then it rained, then it snowed again. The ground is covered.

This morning when we ate breakfast, Mom mentioned how tired I looked and I simply said I didn’t sleep well. :) I didn’t mention anything of what went on during the night and I didn’t mention that there was a pot in the middle of the dining room floor catching water either. Yes, just one more thing to FIX. The house has a new roof, so I can’t imagine where the water is coming in. Must be a slow leak or loose flashing near the dormer. As soon as the temperature changed and it started snowing, the leak stopped and I was able to remove the pot before Mom got up. Guess we have a spot on the roof that will need fixed and a dining room ceiling that will need spackling and painted soon.

Mom colored in her coloring book for a good portion of the day. I sat in my chair near her in the living room trying to strike up a conversation. Even tried to get her to play with dominoes but she was having a difficult time with how that game goes. We ended up with tiles stretching from one end of the table to the other with no specific end. She won, though, because she was the first to use all her tiles. We colored together the rest of the afternoon until it was time for me to make dinner.

I watched the wind pick up snow and twirl it off the barn roof and blow it onto the ground. A chill went through me each time I looked out the window. As a writer, my imagination can sometimes make me literally feel the things I see. I’m looking forward to crawling under warm blankets tonight and hoping for a good night’s sleep. I hope that’s not in my writer’s imagination, too.

Twelve Days of Hell…

And I thought it was supposed to be close to the Twelve Days of Christmas. HA!!

Sorry to have worried everyone by my lack of posts. Thank you all so much for your posts of concern here and emails sent. Really, Mom’s fine. I’m fine…just totally frustrated and exhausted, and I didn’t want to write and be accused of “whining” by cretins (not you Alz and AW pals), who think they know everything.

Where do I start? Oh yes, the furnace. The furnace is still on the fritz. We thought it was fixed, but it stopped working again, and again, and again. Poor Tom, the furnace man, has been out here going on a dozen times to get it working. I feel bad for him. It runs for a while, quits, and won’t fire back up. He changed one part and after installing it found out the new part had a factory defect as well. Got another one and the furnace worked another two days. Can’t be that new part! Found out there was sludge in the fuel and the nozzle was plugged now too. He treated the fuel oil. It ran for about four days after a treatment then quit again. We put straight kerosene into the tank to thin the sludge. It ran two days and quit. This morning, Tom replaced the fuel line from the tanks to the furnace because they were plugged. It ran five minutes and quit. Now, poor Tom is frustrated too. He’s getting another new different part right now, and we’ll see if that makes a difference. We’re both frustrated with this furnace, and of course the darn thing quits during the night when the weather is at the coldest temperatures. Ice cubes anyone?

In between the furnace issues, I called on November 23 (before any snow) to make an appointment for a local mobile tire company to come put new winter tires on the car on November 29. They didn’t show up or call because (of course we got snow on the 28th), they had a slew of emergency calls. A courtesy call would have been nice. I called them the next day and they rescheduled for Tuesday, December 4. Waited all day, no show, no call. Called around to get prices elsewhere and no one had the tire in stock. Called them back on the 5th (now we have a snowstorm), to find out when they would be out to install the tires and they told me to come into the shop and they would put them on. So, finally, by 3:30 December 5th I have winter tires on the vehicle and have 30 minutes to pick up Mom. :D

All the while in between all this, I’ve been dealing with these crazy night visits by some nasty old woman Mom keeps seeing. I guess she got tired of Mr. N., and we’re back to the old woman. Either way, I wish they’d both go visit someone else so I can get some sleep. I’ve been trying to catch a few hours sleep at home while Mom is at day care, but that’s not working out well because I’m not one who is able to sleep during the day no matter how tired I am. Have a call into her doctor to see if there’s anything he can recommend for her to take to get some sleep and get rid of these visitors. (I wouldn’t mind so much if they would do some housecleaning, errands, and work while they’re here. LOL Yes, that was my attempt of being humorous.)

Then, since it’s been doing nothing but raining in between the cold and snow, we have a muddy mess in the driveway. So we had to call in for gravel to keep from sinking in the mud. That seems to be packing in fairly well so in the next few days we’ll be calling for more to give the driveway a better base.

And then, we have to deal with those hunters Betsy mentioned. You would think that people who post their own land with no trespassing signs would not trespass on someone else’s property to shoot a deer. But…no, we have ignorant people who not only trespassed off their property onto ours, shot the deer, drug it on our property down a gully, across my neighbor’s front yard, down our driveway, and had their buddies pick them up at the bottom of our drive. Of course, I know who they are but I couldn’t do anything because they pulled all this while I was picking up Mom. When I got back I saw the truck pulling out of our driveway, I saw the bloody drag marks everywhere, but they were long gone before I could get the license number and make of the truck. I can’t stand ignorant people who think the law only applies to others or when it’s convenient for them.

On top of that, I have a friend who is going through a very rough time right now and she has me worried sick. I won’t go into detail about it, but please keep her in your thoughts.

So, I’m sitting here typing with finger-tip-less gloves, freezing my rear end off, waiting for the furnace to be fixed, worrying about my friend, hoping Mr. N., and the nasty old woman finds someone else to visit, wishing it were spring, and wondering if I’ll ever catch up on the sleep I’ve lost. Other than that, it’s the same old thing on a different day.

And…I haven’t decorated for Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone!

Kawasaki Mule and a Farmall Tractor—More Memories

Two Feather uses his Kawasaki Mule to run around the property and cut up all the fallen trees for firewood. As mentioned in my previous post, he also uses it to transfer the mowers back and forth from our house to Mom’s. He also uses it to plow the snow off both driveways, to grade the driveways when they become rutted from the rain, and to drive back and forth through the woods to see me everyday. The Mule has nearly 700 hours on it from all the work he’s done with it.

Today when we went through the woods to get to the bottom of Mom’s driveway to pick up her garbage can, there was a strange loud scraping noise coming from underneath the Mule. When we got back up to our house, we cleaned off all the mud from the underbelly, cleaned around all the moving parts, and greased all the fittings. Seems once all the mud was removed the noise became louder. When he went to loosen the gear oil bolt so he could check the oil level in the gearbox, the bolt snapped.

Guess we’ll be calling the Kawasaki dealer to come pick it up for service. Not only do we need to find out what the strange scraping noise is, we now need them to get the other half of the bolt out and probably rethread the opening and put a new bolt in.

Good thing we mowed Mom’s grass when we did. Now we’re going to have to figure out how to get the mowers to her place if the yards need mowed again. We were hoping this was the last mowing, but with the way the weather has been it may need done a few more times before winter sets in.

So much for things going smoothly. Two Feather and I always say that if we didn’t have bad luck, we wouldn’t have any luck at all. I’m getting really good at saying, “Oh well!”

Next stop…the auto parts store. Mom gave Two Feather and me Dad’s old ’51 Farmall tractor several years ago, before I started taking care of her. Dad’s old tractor had been sitting in the bottom of the barn for years and didn’t run. The gas tank still had gas in it that turned to gel and rust, and it needed new everything. Two Feather worked on that tractor determined to get it up and running again. He cleaned and scrubbed the inside of the gas tank until he got it cleaned out. He bought a new gas filter and installed that, and fiddled with the thing replacing one part after another. He wouldn’t give up.

After working on it for about a week, one day I heard him yelling from the garage. I couldn’t tell if he sounded angry or happy.

I remember the day so well. As I walked toward our garage, I heard him yelling, “Come on!” and then I heard the sound of the ignition turning. I ran up to the garage and by the time I got there, Dad’s old Farmall fired up, sputtered and spit, and then I heard the noisy old hum of the engine, and watched Two Feather back it out onto the driveway.

Tears streamed down my face hearing the sound of Dad’s old tractor running again. When I was young, I used to ride with Dad and when I got older I’d stand on the back bar and hang onto the seat. Hearing that old tractor again meant the world to me. It would have meant the world to Dad, too. I couldn’t stop crying, yet I was laughing at the same time because I was so happy. My face held a beaming smile as the tears flowed..

“That’s what it’s all about, right there,” Two Feather said.

“What?” I asked.

“That smile!”

Of course, being the sentimental fool I am, I cried harder. Then I ran in the house, grabbed the phone, and called Mom. I was so excited.

“Mom, you gotta here this.”

“What?” she asked. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“Hold on a second. Let me get outside where you can hear this.” I ran to the driveway and asked. “Do you hear that?”

“Is that what I think it is?” She asked. “Is that Dad’s tractor?”

“Yesssssss!” I said, and started crying again. “Isn’t it wonderful!”

“Yes, it is, honey. I wish Dad were here to hear that. He’d be proud of Two Feather.”

“I wish he were too, Mom. This is great. It’s like having Dad right here, right now.”

“Tell Two I said thank you. I’m so glad he got it running and I hope he gets a lot of use out of it.”

Mom was as excited as I was and before we hung up the phone, she was in tears as well.

Two Feather got that old tractor running within only a week after we took it up to our house, and it ran for nearly a year with no problem. It didn’t have the power it used to have, but it ran.

He quit using it because it needed the head gasket replaced and about the time it spewed oil I started taking care of Mom, so we invested in the Mule to use for snow plowing, the upkeep on the driveways, and something he could drive through the woods to visit me and take care of things around the house.

Looks like he’ll be replacing that head gasket now and get the old tractor running again. We have to have something to get the work done around here. And as usual, he’s just the man to do it. He’s the only man around here.

Thank you, Creator, for sending him to me when you did. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

****

On a different note, Mom's physical therapist came today. She was showing Mom how to transfer from the car more easily. She spent a good deal of time with that and then they came in the house and worked on those darn exercises Mom hates so much.

Mom was exhausted by the time therapy was finished. Her legs do seem to be getting stronger, though. So that's a good thing. I'm so glad that she's able to get back a bit more of her strength.

The therapist said she had a few more visits left with Mom, but she'd have to call me next week to schedule them.